Aged Care Talk: How to Bring Up the Idea With Your Parents

Do you dread having the aged care talk with your elderly parents? Are you concerned about how to bring up the idea without facing resistance from your parents? Broaching the topic of aged care with your parents is no easy feat. It must be handled with utmost grace and sensitivity. You want to let them know you care about their welfare without making them feel dispensable.

Keep in mind that the perfect aged home such as Menarock Life Aged Care is a great decision you might have to make. There might be opposition from your siblings, spouse, or even your parents over this but you must find a way to tackle this issue for everyone’s benefit.

Bringing up the idea of aged care with your parents can be overwhelming and have you feeling lost. Worry no more, we have carefully curated a list to help you overcome the awkwardness and have this important conversation with your parent. With these tips, you can get on with the aged care talk with your loved ones, and what to expect.

 

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Tips For The Aged Care Talk:

1. Stop waiting for the right time: when it comes to having the aged home talk. There might never be a right time. Rather than wait for an elusive date, you can go ahead to have that talk today. Think carefully about your points and how you are going to present them to your parents. Do some research on available options and be sure you don’t exaggerate to prove a point. Take a deep breath and go ahead to have that conversation.
2. Be sensitive and kind: you have to understand that your parent may feel disappointed, angry, or even break down emotionally when faced with such a conversation. You need to come prepared, and be kind while passing across your points. Let them know you are only looking out for what’s best for them. Answer their questions politely and offer them a shoulder if they ever need one mid-conversation.
3. Let them be part of the decision-making: even though the central idea might be yours, your parents have a right in the decision-making. Do not dish out your opinions without giving them a chance to decide if they are in support. Make it an open conversation, encourage them to disagree, or give their opinion on the choices you already made. Ask for their opinion; let them decide if they want a particular home and when they are ready to go.
4. Take it slow, one step at a time: don’t expect them to warm up to the idea immediately. Give them some time to think and reconsider. You can start by gently hinting at the topic and taking it a notch further on a second meeting. Don’t rush them, it is a tough decision to make and they need to do so without coercion. Encourage your parent to have this talk while they are still in their prime to avoid being incapacitated to have an opinion in the future.
5. Get everyone involved: don’t take this on like a solo project, enlist help from people your parents’ trust. It should be a family conversation, undertaken in love. Talk to your siblings, spouses, and extended family members. It is also possible to get more ideas that could do a world of good for everyone.
6. Create the right environment for such conversation: deciding on aged care is a sensitive and difficult issue, so don’t expect magic and carefully pick the right environment for such a conversation. Ensure your parents are relaxed and feeling unthreatened, make them comfortable before broaching the topic.
7. Communicate your reasons: remember that your parents are adults. Be sure to communicate why you think the idea of an aged home is wonderful. Give them some background information on the benefits they could gain from being residents in an aged home. Also, mention the challenges of personally taking care of them. Don’t give vague reasons, take your time and honestly let them see the need for aged care.
8. Give them time to think: now you have spoken to them, it’s time to wait. Don’t be eager to get them to say yes. They might need to think about it and decide if they are ready. Don’t rush them, wait for them to process the information and decide on what option they will rather go for. Giving them space to think will show you trust them enough to do the right thing.
9. Make your parent involved in the whole process: after you decide on that idea, don’t ghost your parents. Keep them updated on the processes involved in finding the right home for them. Let them follow you to see some of the options and find something they love.

What to expect when you bring up the idea of aged care with your parents

1. Opposition: deciding to move your parent to an aged home might seem like an excuse to isolate them and forget all about them. This might lead to their silent or overt opposition to the idea. Rather than fight them, let them understand the practical advantages of such a decision and keep them updated on your process regularly.
2. Indifference due to ignorance: if your parents are averse to the idea of an aged home, they might choose to be indifferent to this idea. They might intentionally ignore you or seek ways to sabotage this conversation. Always remember that they are ignorant and scared and be gracious enough to reschedule the talk.
3. Emotional breakdown: some parents might react even more deeply by either crying or having a breakdown. This is also linked to their misunderstanding of your motive. You have to explain the need for such a decision and gently remind them how much you love and cherish them.
4. Anger: this is another way your parents might react to the idea of an aged home. They might think you are seeking easy ways to abandon them and uproot them from the life they have had for a long time. They might take to sulking or avoiding you for some time. Take it in your stride, and be patient and understanding with them.
5. Acceptance: this is another way your parents can react after having the aged care talk. They might be understanding of your viewpoints and see the merits of staying at an aged home. Remember to affirm their decision and help them condition their mind to the thought of living outside their comfort zone.

Wrapping up

One of the decisions you don’t want to get wrong is the choice of an aged home for your parents. It’s best to start the conversation early.  You should also bear in mind they might protest over such a decision. Be gracious and sensitive; understand that sending your parent off to an aged home is no easy feat. If you are looking for the right home for your parent, Menarock Life Aged Care is your best bet. We have 12 homes across Victoria, New South Wales, and Tasmania. Our team of over 1,100 staff are dedicated to delivering quality care to our residents. For enquiries, send us an email at enquires@menarocklife.com.au or call our admission and tour line on 1300 096 971. If you want to know more about any of our homes.